Bike jokes 🚲 in 2025

Two prawns, named Christian and Terry are off on their morning swim.
Soon they discover a codfish caught in a six pack ring. Cursing the humans, Christian and Terry help the poor fish out of his predicament. Now freed, he begins to glow mysteriously.

“Thank you,” he says. “My name is Cod, and I’m a wish-granting codfish. I’d like to grant each of you one wish for saving me.”

Christian thinks and says, “I wish to be attractive to lady prawns.” Cod grants his wish.

Terry thinks and says, “I’m tired of being the bottom of the food chain. Make me into a dangerous predator.”

So Cod turns Terry into a shark and swims away. Of course, Christian is terrified, swims under a pile of rocks and refuses to come out, no matter what Terry says.

Distraught, Terry seeks out the magic codfish once again. As he swims, most fish flee at the sight of him, or keep pace just behind his fins.

Finally he finds the codfish, this time stuck in a bicycle wheel. Terry frees him and wishes to go back to how he was. Then, wish granted, he happily swims back home to his friend, still under the pile of rocks.

“I have wonderful news,” says Terry. “My journey has been long and arduous, but I’ve found Cod, and I’m a prawn again, Christian!”

A newlywed couple goes on a honeymoon to the Middle East.
While there they got into a huge argument about the best mode of transportation; unicycle versus bicycles. The argument was so large they decided to divorce.
Cause of divorce:
Iraq and cyclable differences

I took my new bike back to the shop and said the pedals didn’t work. Chap asked why I thought it was called a push bike.

What type of cyclist has the best chance at getting hit by a car?
– A pretty girl!

A bike can’t stand itself. It gets too tired.

You use wax on your chain, AND on your legs (boys).

Your car sits outside your garage because your garage is full of bikes and cycling gear.

Two nuns riding bicycles on tiny back roads in Vatican City…
One old and one young, they pedal down the tiny side streets admiring the scenery. The young nun sighs and says, “Wow, I’ve never come this way before.”

The other nun goes, “Ah, yes, my dear. It’s the cobblestones.”

What’s the best way to make a cyclist go faster?
– Throw him in front of a car.

Why was the bicycle such a bad singer?
– Because he couldn’t keep his wheels from spinning.

How do cyclists spell relief?
– R-O-L-A-I-D-S.

A person gets hit by a bicycle.
So this person wakes up, as usual, to get ready to go to work. They do their normal routine: brush teeth, eat breakfast, get dressed, etc… On their way to work, they get hit by a bicycle.

The next day, the same thing happens. Get ready for work, leave, get hit by a bicycle. This goes on for weeks.

It was a vicious cycle.

A customs officer at the Mexican border noticed a man coming across one day on a bicycle with two small sacks tied to the handlebars…
Naturally, he got suspicious and asked him to open the sacks, but when he did he found nothing but sand.

Each time he’d stop the bicycle and open the sacks, and he’d find only sand. He had the sand analyzed at the lab and looked at the sack under a microscope he could never find anything wrong. This went on every day for the next month.

After the officer retired, he ran into the bicyclist in a restaurant in Tijuana. After some small talk he said, “Come on. I know you were smuggling something all that time. I won’t tell. I’m just curious. What was it?” The other man said, “Bicycles.”

The priest’s missing bicycle
A smalltown priest went to the mayor, complaining:

– Someone stole my bicycle!

The wise mayor responded:

– Fear not! There is an easy way to find it. All you need to do is to read the ten commandment in front of the whole congregation next Sunday. When you reach “Thou shalt not steal”, make a dramatic pause, then look everyone in the eyes. The one avoiding eye contact is surely guilty!

The next week they meet again, this time the priest riding his bicycle with a huge grin on his face.

– So the plan worked? – asked the mayor

– Well, in a way… I started reading the commandments like you suggested me to do. When I reached “Thou shalt not commit adultery”, I remembered where I had left it.

Why was the bike mad at him?
– He left all its folds behind.

Can you bike too much?