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Beer Jokes 🍺 in 2025

An important distinction.
-Friends bring happiness into your life. Best friends bring beer.

A Turkey sandwich walked into a bar and orders a beer
-The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

My mates call me stingy, so i decided to buy them a beer…
-Turns out, they wanted 1 each.

One beer, two beer, three beer, four.
– Then I hit the floor.

What is a pirate’s favorite beer?
-PB *AARRRR* !!!

I have decided to stop drinking beer for good.
-Now I drink for evil. Bwahahaha.

If God had intended us to drink beer
-He would have given us stomachs.

What do you call a granny who is good at coding and beer pong?
-A Brogramma

A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer, the bartender says no
-The midget asks why, the bartender says “You’re a little drunk”

A great drinking beer pun.
-Yeah, I’m into fitness … fit’ness whole beer in my belly.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
-A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Hey, congratulations on the job promotion!” the bartender says. “Thanks. But you know, success in life is kind of like being pregnant,” the guy replies. “Everybody congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you were screwed.”

Beer is just like the suns journey.
-It rises in the yeast, and sets in the waist.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Poems are hard.
– Beer!

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop
-Not a lot of people that I know of gets this joke, can you?

Why was the tree stumped?
-It couldn’t get to the root of the problem.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
– None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

In 1845 Dublin a ridiculously large number of beer kegs broke and flooded the streets in total about 10 people died by trying to drink it
– Talk about drowning your sorrows

Trust me, you can dance.
-Beer

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