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Beer Jokes 🍺 in 2025

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
-A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Hey, congratulations on the job promotion!” the bartender says. “Thanks. But you know, success in life is kind of like being pregnant,” the guy replies. “Everybody congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you were screwed.”

Why was the tree stumped?
-It couldn’t get to the root of the problem.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
– None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop
-Not a lot of people that I know of gets this joke, can you?

Trust me, you can dance.
-Beer

Ugh. Seriously.
-If Monday was a beer.

In 1845 Dublin a ridiculously large number of beer kegs broke and flooded the streets in total about 10 people died by trying to drink it
– Talk about drowning your sorrows

Someone threw a beer at President Trump during last nights National Championship Game.
-It was a draft, so he easily dodged it.

They say you can’t find happiness at the bottom of a beer
-No kidding, who’s happy when their beer is over?

They say drinking one beer a day can prevent you from having a psychotic break, which is great…
– …I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
– Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck.

Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives.
– The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,”I wish the ocean was a sea of beer.” And it happened.

What kind of cheap beer do vampires drink?
-Blood Light

What did the bottle write on the postcard?
-Wish you were beer!

Sacrificing the abs? Worth it.
-Abs are cool and all but … Have you tried a craft beer?

Why do frogs taste like beer?
– By giving this post an award, you agree to send me £2 via PayPal

Drinking a non-alcoholic beer is like eating out your sister
-It tastes the same but something isn’t quite right
(Sorry this is a joke my Dad used to tell me constantly)

How do you know if someone likes craft beer?
– Don’t worry they’ll tell you.

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