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Beer Jokes 🍺 in 2025

Wife: *points to my empty beer glass* Want another one? Me: Sure, thanks
-Wife: *hands me her empty beer glass* Bring one for me too

How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
-He buys two cases of beer.

That’s all the justification I needed.
-I don’t drink beer. I drink a wheat smoothie.

Ohio man forgoes food for 46 day “Beer Diet”…
-…Florida Man…it appears you have competition.

How did Moses make beer?
-Hebrew-ed it.

Beer.
– Because you can’t drink bacon.

A triathlete walks into a bar to replenish some carbs after a hard workout and orders a beer
-I just got done doing a 10-mile open water swim,” he brags to the bartender. “Ten miles, huh? That’s impressive,” the bartender replies. “I’d struggle to do that much on a bike.” “Yeah, well bikes aren’t that good in water,” the athlete says.

A mushroom walked into a pub. He asked the bartender to give him a beer
-The bartender said, “I can’t, you’ll get too rowdy.” The mushroom then said, “Oh come on! When I drink, I’m a fun guy!”

You look forward to it all day, then it’s just gone and you could cry.
-Spilling a beer is the equivalent of losing a balloon.

What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
-Beer nuts are about a buck fifty and deer nuts are under a buck.

If coronavirus isn’t about beer…
– why do I keep seeing cases of it?

What do you never say to a policeman?
-Sure let me grab my license. Can you hold my beer?

I NEED this bottle opener!
-Go ahead. Take your top off.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
– You know, music can really take you places,” he muses to the bartender. “For example, if you guys play one more rap song in here it’s going to take me to the next bar.

Beer is made from hops.
– Hops is a plant. Beer=salad.

What’s the difference between Trump and a can of beer?
-At least the beer has proof.

A funny joke about the stereotypical male.
– How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What’s a vampire’s favorite beer?
-*Bloodw*eiser

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