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Bean jokes in 2025

I just realized today Jack and the Beanstalk is a communist story.
– It’s all about seizing the beans of production.

Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?
– I haven’t paid $500 to have a garbanzo bean in my face.

Did you hear about the coffee bean that committed murder?
– It was sentenced to death by decaffeination

When I was a kid I had a penpal who lived in southeast Asia who worked in an athletic clothes sweatshop. I would send him gifts from America and he would send me different clothes he made at work. His name was Chen, but I called him Bean Burrito.
– Because he made me puma pants.

Why are there exactly two hundred and thirty-nine beans in an Irish Bean Soup?
– Because if there were one more, it’d be too farty.

The three different life stages of a coffee bean: 1. still green at this, 2.bean there, done that, 3.has-bean.

What do you call a cat who likes to eat beans?
– Puss ‘n’ Toots!

You know the difference between a chick pea and a garbonzo bean?
– Nobody will pay to watch a garbonzo bean

Why do the Irish only put two hundred and thirty nine beans in their chili?
– Because if they added just one more bean, it would be too farty!

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