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Bean jokes in 2025

What did the pasta say to the green bean?
– Penne for your thoughts.

becca: [fries beans]
**rebecca:** *[refries beans]*

Dem puns…
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine beans in Irish Bean Soup?

Because if there be one moar, it’d be too farty!

I found a green vegetable in the shape of a clock. But I won’t eat it.
– Not for the time bean

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. ”Good heavens,” he said, ”what is this?” ”Why, it’s bean soup,” she replied. ”I don’t care what it has been,” he sputtered. ”What is it now?”

I’ve bean thinking of you!

I am a bilingual pulse
– Soy bean

What do they call Muhammad Ali on bean night?
– Gaseous Clay

What is the first name of Mr. Bean?
– Piratesofthecarib

What happens to coffee beans when they have a similar experience?
– They are having a deja brew.

As a new Dad, my dad joke senses are tingling. I made this joke (better when spoken). “Why did the 7 foot man take 2 cans of Garbanzo beans on the flight?”
– Because he wanted more legume.

R.I.P. dad
My dad passed away yesterday (this is true). He was 87 and had a good innings. We’ve done the bulk of our grieving and all is good. My brother sent me this message this morning:

“I reckon dad has already told Eddie Van Halen to turn the volume down.”

What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
– It doesn’t cost me $50 to have a garbanzo bean on my face

Just traded my girlfriend for a bean burrito.
– Food for thot.

What did the mama green bean say to her son who got home late?
– Where have you bean?

Saw a homeless man eating a tin of baked beans and I thought it was really sad, so I walked over to him and said…
– “I think you’re supposed to open that first”

What’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?
– Last night I didn’t pay 20 bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

What’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?
– I don’t get hard when a garbanzo beans on my face.

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