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Bean jokes in 2025

What did the bean say to another bean?
– How have you bean?

whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?
– donald trump has never had a garbanzo bean on his face.

What type of bean results in premature death?
– Sean Bean

A man is dining in a restaurant and he turns to the waiter.
“Waiter, waiter. What is this I am eating?”

The waiter says: “It’s bean soup, sir.”

“I don’t care what it has been, I want to know what it is.”

What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean?
– De-calf.

I’ve been told green beans are good for you
– But how can they be better than the other jelly bean colors?

What do you get when you feed Goya beans to a Russian president?
– A Tootin’ Putin.

What do you call a bean that lives overseas?
– A broad bean.

What do you call a gay bean?
– A Les-bean

What did the green bean say to the corn that graduated from high school?
– Corn-gratulations.

If you find beans in a beanery and cans in a cannery….
– What do you find in a country?

What’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?
– I wouldn’t pay $39 to have a garbanzo bean on my chest.

What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
– A green bean.

What vegetable comes from outer space?
– Green beings.

What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
– I’ve never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

I saw a bean and a song sitting together at a bar.
– I could tell the song was quite drunk and was really chatting up the bean.

The song said, “Hey there, bean. I *like* you beans because you’re the *musical* fruit. But I’ll tell you I cannot *stand* garbanzo beans. We songs wish to be *sung!* Those damn garbanzo beans only hummus.”

How many beans are in Irish Chili?
– 239, because if there was 1 more it would be “Too Farty”.

There’s been a rumor going around recently that Rowan Atkinson can’t please his wife
– Apparently he missed her bean

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