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Bean jokes in 2024

The jelly bean went to school
– because it wanted to be a smartie.

Mr. Bean’s first name
– Fun Fact : Mr. Bean’s first name is Mr. As seen on his passport in the movie.

What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
– Teargas

What’s the difference between a green bean and a chickpea?
– I wouldn’t pay $50 to see a green bean.

What holiday do green beans like most? St. Patrick’s Day
– because they fit right in!

When I was a kid I had a penpal who lived in southeast Asia who worked in an athletic clothes sweatshop. I would – send him gifts from America and he would send me different clothes he made at work. His name was Chen, but I called him Bean Burrito.
– Because he made me puma pants.

I onece visited the Heinz Beans factory
– It was a very uncanny experience

What’s the difference between a garbonzo bean and a Russian chick pea?
– Trump never paid money to see a garbonzo bean!

Albert Einstein challenged Mr. Bean
Einstein said to Mr. Bean: “I’ll ask you a question.​If you can’t answer correctly, you’ll give me one dollar. Then you ask me a question. If I can’t answer correctly, I’ll give you 1000 dollars.

Einstein: asks a question.

Mr. Bean after a little while: gives Einstein one dollar.

Einstein says: Okay, it’s your turn.

Mr. Bean asks: What’s an animal that has four legs, but when it’s crossing a street, it has three legs and when it’s on the other side of the street, it has only two?

Einstein: Thinks hard for a while.

Einstein says: I give up. *Gives 1000 dollars to Mr. Bean*

Einstein asks: What is it?

Mr. Bean: gives a dollar to Einstein.

What did the pasta say to the green bean?
– Penne for your thoughts.

becca: [fries beans]
**rebecca:** *[refries beans]*

Dem puns…
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine beans in Irish Bean Soup?

Because if there be one moar, it’d be too farty!

I found a green vegetable in the shape of a clock. But I won’t eat it.
– Not for the time bean

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. ”Good heavens,” he said, ”what is this?” ”Why, it’s bean soup,” she replied. ”I don’t care what it has been,” he sputtered. ”What is it now?”

I’ve bean thinking of you!

I am a bilingual pulse
– Soy bean

What do they call Muhammad Ali on bean night?
– Gaseous Clay

What is the first name of Mr. Bean?
– Piratesofthecarib

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