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Bean jokes in 2025

What do you call a pea that works in the circus?
– A tra-peas artist.

What is the deal with Egyptian pharaohs and people that eat beans?
– I hear they have a Tutankhamon

What do you call a Mexican baptism?
– Bean dip

What kind of shows do green beans do?
– Pod casts.

What do you call Muhammad Ali after he eats beans?
– Gaseous Clay

Why do baked beans want to move to Queensland (Australia)
Because they all want to live in Cairns!

(a city in Queensland Australia, for non aussies)

Sean Bean is the Narrator for Civilization VI
– So I guess he dies after the Bronze Age or …?

What is your favorite pirate movie?
– Pirates of the Carib-bean.

Mayonnaise
In 1912, the Titanic sank and everyone still talks about it to this day.

But only weeks after the incident, another ship fell victim to the harsh ocean. This was a large cargo ship that contains various products that were supposed to be delivered to Mexico, among them were sugar, coffee beans, but the bulk of the shipment comprised of mayonnaise. You see, Mexicans love mayonnaise. That’s why when it happened on a sad day in May 5th, the whole mexican wept for the fallen sailors and the delicious products they were supposed to enjoy.

Since then, the day of mourning came to be: >!Sinko De Mayo!<

Trump has violated ethics laws by advertising a can of beans from the Oval Office but he’s not worried.
– I mean, what are you Goya do about it?

Beans!
A group of beans were traveling around France…

They ended up in Cannes.

What’s the difference between a Garbanzo bean and a chick pea?
– Well I’ve never had a garbanzo bean on my chest before

What do you call a bean that was previously famous?
– A “has bean”.

One of the patrons of the church was cooking a pot of her famous beans for the church potluck. Her son, Little Johnny, came running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BBs in the other.
He tripped and the BBs, naturally, went right into the pot of beans.
Thinking it over, Little Johnny could think of no reason why he should risk punishment, so he said nothing.
The dinner went well, and, as usual, the beans were one of the favorite dishes.
The next day, the church secretary, Mary, called Little Johnny’s mother and said, “Jane, your beans were delicious as usual, but what did you put in them this time?”
Jane replied, “Nothing new, why do you ask?” “Well,” said Mary, “this morning I bent over to feed the cat, and shot the canary!”

How did Jack know exactly where to find the goose in the giant’s castle?
– He had *bean stalking* her.

What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
– There’s no video of Trump paying to have Russian garbanzo bean on him

How many beans does it take to make Irish bean soup?
– 239. Because one more would make it too farty

Where did the green bean go to have a few drinks?
– The salad bar!

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