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Batman Jokes 🦇 in 2025

Batman’s mask
– Is worthless against the COVID.

Why doesn’t Batman like Mr. Freeze?
-He always gives him the cold shoulder

What is Batman’s least favorite food?
– Chinese takeout

How long does it take Batman to change a lightbulb?
-Depends. How much prep time does he get?

Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend, saying “Robin, lookup at the sky and tell me what you see.”
-Robin replies sleepily, “I see millions of stars.”

Wonder Woman walks in on Batman and Robin’s training session
-Batman asks “Have I ever shown you how to do a side-kick?”
Wonder Woman shouts “BATMAN! THAT IS VERY UNPROFESSIONAL!!”

How come Batman shampoo exists…
-But not Conditioner Gorder?

Batman has designed a tuxedo version of his crime fighting costume so he can attend formal occasions.
-It’s a class action suit.

I emailed Netflix and asked if they had Batman Forever.
-They said, “No, just until the end of June.”

What are Batman’s insurance policies called as?
-Dark Knight Returns

Batman is having a good month
-Supercriminals: “Okay! I’ll go quietly! Just don’t cough on me!”

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar…
-Followed by Batman.

Batman walks into a superhero-only pool, he is quickly stopped by a guard, the guard points to a sign that says
-“No swimming without supervision.”

What’s the difference between a newlywed Danish couple and Batman’s parents?
– One couple are Wed Danes and the other are Dead Waynes.

What do you call Batman and Robin after they get run over by a steamroller?
-Flatman and Ribbon.

How does Batman take care of Poison Ivy?
– Ointment.

One time I went to Blockbusters and asked if I could rent Batman Forever…
-The man at the counter said, “NO! You can only rent it for the week”!

I always found the idea of Batman to be laughable.
– But just in case, I shot the kid too.

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