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Bartender jokes 🍹🍸 in 2025

Two jumper cables walk into a bar. One of them says
– “We’d like a couple of beers, please.”

Joke I made up: Caveman and a bear walk into a bar. Bartender says “what’s your story?” Caveman says…
– Bear with me…

A Neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender for the price of a drink

A guy runs into a bar says to the bartender
– “Quick! Give me 50 shots of your best whiskey!”

I told the bartender I wanted a double…
…and he brought out a guy that looks just like me.

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk not a bar.
– No joke.

David Hasselhoff walked into a bar
– and ordered a drink.

Its a pleasure to serve you, Mr Hasselhoff, said the bartender.

Just call me Hoff, the actor replied.

Sure, the bartender said, no hassle.

Bono and The Edge walked into a Irish bar and the bartender said…
– Oh no, not U2 again

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship’s steering wheel attached to his pants. The bartender asks him, “What’s with the wheel?”
– The pirate responds, “Arrrggh, it’s driving me nuts.”

A horse walks into a bar.
– The bartender asks the horse if it’s an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies ~~I don’t think I am”~~ “I think not!” POOF! The horse disappears.

An ego and a superego walk into a bar.
– The bartender says “I’ll have to see some id”

A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar.
– The bartender asks the rabbit What can I get you to drink .

The rabbit says I have no idea, I’m only here because of autocorrect .

Homer Simpson takes his yellow, spiky-haired son to a bar. The bartender pulls up a shotgun and aims it at the boy.
– I regret saying this, but the bartender lives up to his name.

The bartender says “Okay,
– but don’t start anything.”

A girl walks into a bar.
– Says to the bartender, “I’d like a double entendre, please.”

So he gives it to her.

– The drunk on the next stool turn angrily and says “Be careful. You are speaking about the woman I love.”

An original joke walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Welcome to /r/Jokes! I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.” Original joke replies…
– “Don’t worry. Within a week or two, I’ll be a regular here!”

Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks ”Do all of you want a drink?”
– The first logician says ”I don’t know”

The second logician says ”I don’t know”

The third logician says ”Yes!”

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