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Bartender jokes 🍹🍸 in 2025

a marketing mistake
– A small business owner walks into a bar and orders a beer. “How’s business?” the bartender asks. “Horrible. We had quite a fiasco this week. I had a shipment come in containing 100 high-quality T-shirts that featured a glow-in-the-dark design of a 100 dollar bill on the front. They looked really cool in the catalog when we ordered them, but we didn’t sell a single one all week,” the business owner complains. “I guess it’s true. Money doesn’t glow on T’s. “

Horse walks into a bar, bartender asks “why the long face?”
– Horse replies, “The bank denied my home loan because I don’t have stable income.”

My bartender is rather forgetful He can remember that my first name is “Al” just fine,
– but I have no idea how he keeps mixing up “Smith” with “Coholic”.

Two termites walk into a bar. One asks,
– “Is the bar tender here?”

A Black Guy, a Mexican, and a Muslim holding a Gay Chicken Walk Into a Bar
– Bartender says, “We don’t do jokes in here.”

The chicken says, “Come on guys I know a place across the street.”

A Native American, Pirate, and Frenchman walk into a bar.
– The bartender walks over and says, “Gentlemen, hau, arrrrrrr, oui, today?”

How to find a woman
– A single guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Intelligence is the first thing I look for in a woman,” he tells the bartender. “Because if she doesn’t have that I just might have a chance.”

A tennis ball walks into a bar. The barman says,
– “Have you been served?”

An infinite number of people walk into a bar…
– The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer…

The bartender pulls out two beers and tells them to know their limits.

But is it murder?
– A homicide detective walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Hey look at those birds outside,” the bartender comments to him. “Did you know that a group of crows like that is called a murder?” “Well you can’t be sure that’s a murder,” the detective says. “Unless there is probable caws.”

– The drunk on the next stool turn angrily and says “Be careful. You are speaking about the woman I love.”

Two guys walk into a bar.
– The third one ducks.

A horse walks into a bar…
– “Why the long face?” asks the bartender…
The horse replies, “I can no longer make ends meet based solely on the royalties from Sex in the City.”

A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling.
– The guy asks “what’s this about?”. the bartender replies, “well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone’s drinks for the next hour. You want to have a go?” The guy replies, “No thanks, the steaks are too high.”

A bartender yells “Does anyone know CPR?”
– “Hell I know the whole alphabet!” I shouted.

The Easter Bunny walks into a bar. The Bartender says, “I suppose you want a White Rabbit.” The Easter Bunny says,
– “I don’t care, just give me something hoppy.”

Why did the woman bring a ladder to the bar?
– Because she heard the drinks were on the house.

A Guy walks into a bar
– A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man “When are you going to pay for these beers?” The man answers, “Now the problems start!”

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