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Bartender jokes 🍹🍸 in 2025
Bartenders work in bars and at many special events and working with both alcohol and the people who are ordering from them, they learn many people skills. Some of those that are being served are the most likely to use bartender jokes, either to try and impress bartenders or friends.
An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar
– The first orders a pint of beer. The second half a pint, the third a quarter ad infinitum. The bartender just pours two pints and says “sort it out yourselves.”
E-flat walks into a bar. The bartender says,
– “Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”
A Russian spy, a sexual predator and a billionaire walk into a bar
– Bartender says “What can I get you Mr. President?”
A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint
– The bartender says You know, you’re in here pretty often, do you think you might be an alcoholic?
The horse says I don’t think I am.. and promptly disappears from existence.
See this was a joke about Descarte’s famous philosophy line I think therefore I am but if I had explained that before the rest of the joke I would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
A man walks into a bar and orders ten shots of whiskey.
– The bartender asks what is the occasion.
The man replies ‘his first blowjob’
The bartender congrats him and offers to buy him another shot
The man says that is unnecessary, if ten shots doesn’t get the taste out of his mouth, one more won’t make a difference.
Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks “Are you having beer?”
– He replies “i think not.” And instantly disappears.
An original joke walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Welcome to /r/Jokes! I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.” Original joke replies…
– “Don’t worry. Within a week or two, I’ll be a regular here!”
Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks ”Do all of you want a drink?”
– The first logician says ”I don’t know”
The second logician says ”I don’t know”
The third logician says ”Yes!”
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says,
– “I’ll have an H2O please”
A girl walks into a bar.
– Says to the bartender, “I’d like a double entendre, please.”
So he gives it to her.
– The drunk on the next stool turn angrily and says “Be careful. You are speaking about the woman I love.”
Jesus becomes a bartender. Man says hey you SOB I ordered a beer but you just gave me water.
– I told you I could turn water into whine.
A termite walks into a bar and says,
– “Is the bar tender here?”
So God, a Jew and a Zombie walk into a bar..
– The bartender says, “Hey Jesus”
Recently got a second job as a bartender at a stripclub.
– Ive never worked so hard before in my life.
apples
– A doctor walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Hey doc, I’ve always wondered … is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?” the bartender asks. “Or is it just one of Granny’s myths?”
A pirate wearing a paper towel on his head walks into a bar. The bartender asks “What’s with the paper towel?”
– The pirate says “Arrr matey, I have a bounty on me head!”
Three fonts walk into a bar.
– The bartender looks up andsays, “We don’t serve your type in here.”
Most Popular Categories
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Mixing Drinks
Top bartender jokes are often about the way that they mix drinks, and how they spend so much of their time serving drinks to others. While they do mix many drinks, each bartender is different in how they balance the tasks, how many they can make at a time, and how much they include in each. A well made drink will have the perfect balance of each ingredient and will have a pleasant taste without a burn. Hilarious bartender jokes about how they make drinks are second only to cheesy bartender jokes about how they interact with people.While making drinks should be the focus of the job, interacting with customers and ensuring they are happy is perhaps the most important part of the job. Corny bartender jokes about them working double duty and serving as a therapist are some of the most popular. It is a common stereotype that when people go into bars and drink to feel better or to spend the evening, they are also going to share all of their problems with the bartender on duty. Short bartender jokes will address this often, and while it may be true in some cases it is not in all, but one liner bartending jokes will get a laugh anyway. They are enjoyable and fun, and do not target the bartenders as the joke, but the way in which people naturally trust them even though they may be strangers and share their innermost thoughts and worries with them.
Bartenders in the Movies
Fancy drinks, throwing around bottles, and tricks behind the bar are often seen in movies, especially those that are about bars and the people who work in and frequent them. Funny bartender jokes about their talent and how they can do anything are common and can show a respect for the job and for those who do it. While many people would be unable to complete those tasks or tricks, there are many who cannot, and top bartender jokes are enjoyed by all of them and may address those who can do bartending tricks and those who cannot.In movies bartenders are most often attractive, either men or women, who are cool and brave, and attract a wide range of attention. One liner bartender jokes that address the attractiveness of these bartenders, and the stereotype that those in every bar outside of the entertainment industry will be attractive as well, are very popular in college towns and with young adults. Short bartender jokes often assume that people operate on this basic assumption and will find the joke amusing because of it, without including all of the details.
Cute bartender jokes are fun, and they are a great way to share a laugh with friends for adults, however bartender jokes are not for kids. Though they do not attend bars, they will see bartenders at weddings and other events, and have a basic understanding of the profession, but they do have many of their own jokes about them.