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Bank jokes 🏦💰🏧 in 2025

What’s the similarity between a dollar and the moon?
– It’s that both of them have 4 quarters.

Give a man a bank and he’ll rob everyone
– tell a redditor a joke and he’ll repost it for the rest of his life

What did the bank teller say to the patron?
– “Bank you very much.”

What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
– A very witch person.

When does it start raining money?
– When there’s a change in the weather.

Why wasn’t the criminal able to steal all the money alone?
– Because she was banking on her friends to help her.

Why was the woodchopper arrested at the bank?
– He walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling, and shouted, “This is a stickup!”

A girl asks her mother “How old are you?”
– Her mother replied “Older than most mortgages.”

Up until I bought this bag of chips I thought the air was free.

What did the penny say to its friend, the other penny?
– It said, “Let’s meet and make some cents”.

Give a man a gun and he’ll rob a bank.
– Give a man a bank and he’ll rob everyone.

Why is a river rich?
– Because it has two banks.

Money talks …but all mine ever says is good-bye.

How much money does a skunk have?
– One scent!

What would a stockbroker say to another stockbroker when they wanted the other person to stop talking?
– They’d probably say, “Put a stock in it”.

2 lawyers were stood in a queue at a bank. As they were chatting, some masked robbers came in to the bank and demanded everyone hands over their wallets.
– The first lawyer calmly takes his wallet out of his pocket, takes $1000 out of his wallet and hands it to the second lawyer and says “here you go, this is that $1000 I owe you”

What’s the hardest part about being addicted to banking?
– The withdrawals.

Why is money called dough?
– Because we all knead it.

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