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Bank jokes 🏦💰🏧 in 2025

How can you become rich by eating?
– You should eat fortune cookies.

Why should you invest all your money in yeast?
– Because it has the ability to make your dough rise.

Why did the bank owner buy cows?
– To beef up security.

What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day?
– The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

What do you call it when you lend money to a bison?
– Buff-a-loan!

What was the football coach yelling to the vending machine that ate his money?
– He was saying “give me my quarterback”.

I got fired from the sperm bank yesterday
– Apparently you’re not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say, “get a load of this guy” every time someone walks in.

What do you call when you cross a banker and a fish?
– A loan shark.

I am currently boycotting the companies that sell items I can’t afford.

What ad did the safe company display on their billboard?
– “If your things get stolen, well it’s not our vault.”

Why did the man get caught just for accidentally dropping some money inside his washing machine?
– Probably because the police thought that he was laundering money.

The employees at my bank are soo nice these days!
– Occasionally they would call me and remind me that my loans have been outstanding!

Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank.
– Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.

Uber lost over a billion dollars in the last six months so they’re asking their drivers to check between the seat cushions.

How can you get rich by eating?
– Eat fortune cookies.

How much money do professional ice skaters usually make in a year?
– They make eight figures but they, unfortunately, can’t access that because all their accounts are frozen.

What do you call a man with a head full of change?
– Headquarters.

Personal financing is very…INTERESTing

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