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Bank jokes 🏦💰🏧 in 2024

I used to have an account with a bank at the North Pole.
– They froze all my assets.

Living on earth may be expensive,
– but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.

Why didn’t the man report it to the police when his credit card got stolen?
– Because the kind thief was spending less than the man.

What did the father do when his son wanted to go to a really expensive math university but didn’t have enough money?
– The father cosined for him.

2 Blondes On Opposite River Banks
– 1 Yelled “How Do I Get To The Other Side”? She Yelled Back “You’r On The Other Side”.

What do fish use for money?
– Sand Dollars.
I went to the bank to apply for a personal loan.
Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper. So they didn’t want to Post Malone.

What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak?
– February 14th.

Why do people say that if we want to get rich, we should keep our mouths shut?
– Probably because silence is supposed to be gold.

Why can’t the dog lawyers make much money?
– It’s because they are all pro-bone-O.

A basketball player and a horse jockey just robbed the bank.
– Police are looking high and low for the culprits.

The stock market is weird. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they’re smart.

What type of money do crabs use?
– Sand dollars!

Why did the robbers take a bath before they were going to steal from the bank?
– Because they wanted to make clean getaway.

A minister, a priest and a rabbit walked into a blood bank.
– The rabbit said I think I am a Type-O

What did the nut say when it held up the bank?
– “Give me all the cashew have!”

Is everything expensive or I’m just broke all the time?

How much money would you be left with if you win $5 million on the lottery and decide to donate a quarter of that to charity?
– You’ll still have $4,999,999.75.

In England, what would you be called if you had to pay money to live inside a toilet?
– You’d probably be called a loo tenant.

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