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Bank jokes 🏦💰🏧 in 2025

Where do polar bears go to keep their money safe?
– In snowbanks.

Why do I keep paying the bills?
– It just encourages them to send more.

I need a new bank account. This one has run out of money.

What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
– “I want my quarterback!”

Where do penguins keep their money?
– In snowbanks.

What would a duck say to the cashier after he was done shopping?
– He’d probably say, “Put it all on my bill”.

Why don’t the bees ever want to spend any money?
– It’s because they all are stingy.

My daughter wants to be really scary this Halloween so instead of a costume, she is going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.

Why did the little old lady put her money in the freezer?
– She wanted cold, hard cash.
I quit my job at the bank today.
I guess you can say I lost interest.
The bank must really like me.
They keep telling me that my loan is outstanding.

People who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad.
– But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.

Having teenagers is just paying for a bunch of dates that you don’t get to go on.

Borrow money from pessimists, they don’t expect it back.

Why did the one student swallow all her pennies?
– It’s because the teacher told her that she needed more cents.

What type of money do you make when you donate to a sperm bank everyone day?
– Passive incum

Why did the tightrope walker go to the bank?
– To check his balance.

There’s nothing I’ve learned from being a parent that I couldn’t just as easily have figured out from setting all my money on fire.

Where did the frog put his money?
– It’s in the river bank.

How do you make money in a dog exercising business?
– It should be a walk in the park.

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