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Bank jokes 🏦💰🏧 in 2024

Where do polar bears go to keep their money safe?
– In snowbanks.

I need a new bank account. This one has run out of money.

What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
– “I want my quarterback!”

Where do penguins keep their money?
– In snowbanks.

What would a duck say to the cashier after he was done shopping?
– He’d probably say, “Put it all on my bill”.

Why don’t the bees ever want to spend any money?
– It’s because they all are stingy.

My daughter wants to be really scary this Halloween so instead of a costume, she is going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.

Why did the little old lady put her money in the freezer?
– She wanted cold, hard cash.
I quit my job at the bank today.
I guess you can say I lost interest.
The bank must really like me.
They keep telling me that my loan is outstanding.

Why do I keep paying the bills?
– It just encourages them to send more.

What do you call when you cross a banker and a fish?
– A loan shark.

I am currently boycotting the companies that sell items I can’t afford.

What ad did the safe company display on their billboard?
– “If your things get stolen, well it’s not our vault.”

Why did the man get caught just for accidentally dropping some money inside his washing machine?
– Probably because the police thought that he was laundering money.

The employees at my bank are soo nice these days!
– Occasionally they would call me and remind me that my loans have been outstanding!

Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank.
– Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.

Uber lost over a billion dollars in the last six months so they’re asking their drivers to check between the seat cushions.

How can you get rich by eating?
– Eat fortune cookies.

How much money do professional ice skaters usually make in a year?
– They make eight figures but they, unfortunately, can’t access that because all their accounts are frozen.

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