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Bank jokes 🏦💰🏧 in 2025

Where do polar bears go to keep their money safe?
– In snowbanks.

Why do I keep paying the bills?
– It just encourages them to send more.

I need a new bank account. This one has run out of money.

What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
– “I want my quarterback!”

Where do penguins keep their money?
– In snowbanks.

What would a duck say to the cashier after he was done shopping?
– He’d probably say, “Put it all on my bill”.

Why don’t the bees ever want to spend any money?
– It’s because they all are stingy.

My daughter wants to be really scary this Halloween so instead of a costume, she is going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.

Why did the little old lady put her money in the freezer?
– She wanted cold, hard cash.
I quit my job at the bank today.
I guess you can say I lost interest.
The bank must really like me.
They keep telling me that my loan is outstanding.

Why was the woodchopper arrested at the bank?
– He walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling, and shouted, “This is a stickup!”

A girl asks her mother “How old are you?”
– Her mother replied “Older than most mortgages.”

Up until I bought this bag of chips I thought the air was free.

What did the penny say to its friend, the other penny?
– It said, “Let’s meet and make some cents”.

Give a man a gun and he’ll rob a bank.
– Give a man a bank and he’ll rob everyone.

Why is a river rich?
– Because it has two banks.

Money talks …but all mine ever says is good-bye.

How much money does a skunk have?
– One scent!

What would a stockbroker say to another stockbroker when they wanted the other person to stop talking?
– They’d probably say, “Put a stock in it”.

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