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Baby Jokes 👶 in 2025

How should you treat a baby goat?
-Like a kid.

What do baby pythons play with?
-Rattlesnakes.

What do you do with a fussy baby?
-You pacify it.

Did you hear about the baby born in a high-tech hospital?
-It came out cordless.

When potatoes have babies, what are they called?
-Tater tots.

Where do baby fish sleep?
-In a bass-inet.

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?
-Depends how thin you slice them.

What do you call a group of baby soldiers?
-An infantry.

Which app can babies use to see thousands of photos of people who want to buy them toys?
-Instagrandma

Did you hear about the lady who traveled to the ocean to have her baby?
-She needed a sea section.

“I don’t always drink milk. But when I do, I prefer Dos Tetas.”
-The Most Interesting Baby in the World

What do you call a baby potato?
-A small fry.

How did the baby know she was ready to be born?
-She was running out of womb.

My baby just ate a bunch of scrabble tiles.
-The next diaper change could spell disaster.

Tell me, does the stork deliver babies with their diapers on?
-No, they’re stork naked!

Why do we dress babies in onesies?
-Because they can’t dress themselves.

Do I have to have a baby shower?
-Not if you change the baby’s diaper quickly.

Do you know what a baby computer calls his old man?
-Data!

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