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Baby Jokes 👶 in 2024

What goes 100mph and bounces up and down?
– A baby tied to the back of a truck.

I think the hospital accidentally switched our babies at birth…
-They’re identical twins, so it’s hard to be sure.

If a baby refuses to go to sleep…
-Is she resisting arrest?

My partner is so negative… I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag…
-But all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

Where can babies post status updates about how they‘re feeling?
-Babyfacebook

How should you treat a baby goat?
-Like a kid.

What do baby pythons play with?
-Rattlesnakes.

What do you do with a fussy baby?
-You pacify it.

Did you hear about the baby born in a high-tech hospital?
-It came out cordless.

When potatoes have babies, what are they called?
-Tater tots.

Where do baby fish sleep?
-In a bass-inet.

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?
-Depends how thin you slice them.

What do you call a group of baby soldiers?
-An infantry.

Which app can babies use to see thousands of photos of people who want to buy them toys?
-Instagrandma

Did you hear about the lady who traveled to the ocean to have her baby?
-She needed a sea section.

“I don’t always drink milk. But when I do, I prefer Dos Tetas.”
-The Most Interesting Baby in the World

What do you call a baby potato?
-A small fry.

How did the baby know she was ready to be born?
-She was running out of womb.

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