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Atom jokes ⚛ in 2025

If your atoms had no kinect energy you’d be 0K.

Two atoms walking down the street …
… one turns to the other and says “I think I’ve lost an electron”. The other replies “F*ck me, a talking atom!”

My friends tried to convince me I was a chemical element with the atomic number 102.
– But I told them No.

Two atoms are walking down the street…
Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, “Hey, you just stole an electron from me!”

“Are you sure?” asks the second atom.

To which the first atom replies, “Yeah, I’m positive!”

What did the oxygen atom in tuxedo say to the hydrogen atoms?
– Bond, Covalent Bond

An oxygen atom and a potassium atom were involved in a car accident
– Fortunately, they came out OK

Two atoms walked out of a bar.
One turned to the other one and said, “we’ve got to go back in there, I left an electron” The other one asked, “Are you sure?” He replied, “Yes, I’m positive”

Why can you never trust an atom?
– They make up literally everything.

A professor makes a bet with a student.

Every question the professor asks that the student can’t answer the student will owe him $1, every question the student asks that the professor can’t answer he owes the student $100.
Professor: What element has the atomic number 45?

The student having no idea hands the professor $1.

Student: What animal walks on 2 legs, sleeps on 4 legs, and runs on 3 legs?

The professor is stumped, so he gives the student $100.

Professor: Ok you win, but on earth was the answer to your question?

The student gives the professor $1 and goes home.

One atom says to another atom
“Dude! I lost all my valence electrons!”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive!”

Two atoms are walking down the street….
One of them shouts, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!”

The other inquires, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m positive!”

Atomic Particles
I just lost an atomic particle. I’m positive.

What do you call a ring of iron atoms?
– A ferrous wheel.

Two atoms were hanging out…
…and one says to the other, “Oh no! I think I’ve lost an electron!”

The other says, “Are you sure?”

The first says, “Yes, I’m positive!”

Two atoms are in a bar. One says, “I think I lost an electron.”
The other says, “Are you sure?” to which the other replies, “I’m positive.”

An atom loses an electron, another atom asks ‘You sure?’
– I’m positive.

Why are atoms weird?
– They have their quarks

How did one gold atom greet the other gold atom?
– ‘ey you.

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