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Atom jokes ⚛ in 2025

Why are atoms known for being such liars?
– oh, they make up EVERYTHING!

Do you ever just accidentally infuse an extra atom of oxygen into your water?
– Fear not, H2O2 is H2O too

Why should you never date an atom?
– The split is gonna be explosive

An atom walks into a bar
An atom walks into a bar with his atom friend.
1st atom said: I think I lost an electron, the 2nd atom replied: Are you possitive?

The professor sighs and says, “No need to make mountains out of mol hills.”

One atom asks a hipster atom, “Hey, did you lose an electron?”
The hipster atom replies, “No, I’m just being ionic.”

If you laid every atom in the sun end to end, it would be roughly 3.0818632e+23 times the width of the universe, or roughly 1.1701458e+43 lightyears.
That’s almost as wide as your mother.

Atoms are catholic.
They have mass

An atom says to another, I think I just lost an electron .
The other says, Are you sure? .
– The first replies, Yes, I’m positive .

Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82.
– I’m easily lead.

I went to an atom party last night.
– It was crazy, but in the middle of the party a couple splitted up and the party exploded!

All the atoms go to the bar Quantum Accelerator
– Why? Because it’s a smashing time

What do you call an atom with a negative charge?
– An ion

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar.
– Batman.

Two atoms walk into a party at the Large Hadron Collider…
– It was full of nerds so they split.

Two atoms are driving together, lose control and smash into a tree…
ATOM #1: are you ok?

ATOM #2: oh my god, no! I think I lost an electron!

ATOM #1: are you sure?

ATOM #2: yes, I’m positive!

What did the chemist say to his gf when they broke up?
– If you were an atom you would have 67 protons

Two atoms are in a bar
One said to the other,’ I just lost an electron’

‘Are you sure?’ Was the reply

‘Yes, I’m positive’

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