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Atom jokes ⚛ in 2025

What do you call a nitrogen atom having a 5-way orgy with 4 other hydrogen atoms?
– Ammoooaaanium

Two atoms sitting in a bar..
One says I lost an electron. The other asks are you sure ?

Yeah I’m positive

What is it called when the electrons of one atom are transferred to another?
– Ionestly don’t know the answer.

You’d think that when two atoms in a salt bond, they’re being kind by sharing electrons, but actually, one atom is stealing the electron from the other.
Isn’t it ionic?

A helium atom walks into a bar

The bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gases here.”

The helium atom does not react.

We learned about the orbitals of an atom today…
It was pretty Bohring.
.
.
.

I’ll let myself out.

Two atoms go on a date…when suddenly, one of them drops an electron and gasps. The other atom asks…are you sure?
– I’m positive! Replies the other atom.

Joke my scinence teacher dropped on us
A lithium atom walked into a bar and said

“Hey I think I left some electrons in here last night, have you seen any?”

The bar tender replied, “No, are you sure you lost them?”

The lithium atom replied “Yes I’m positive…”

A human losing weight is like an atom losing electrons
– Everything is positive after that.

Why did the phosphorus atom go to the fortune teller?
– To find out his phos-fate!

Atoms are liars.
– They make up everything.

A sodium atom undergoes a vigorous reaction with flourine…
How do you feel?” Asks the fluoride ion.

“Positively shell shocked” the sodium ion replied.

How do we know that atoms are Catholic?
– Because they have mass.

An atom asks another atom,
Do these protons make my mass look big?

39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom
– Scientists still can’t determine how much is needed for your mother though

An atom is walking down the street…
An atom is walking down the street when he meets a friend of his, who is evidently distraught. “What’s the matter…is everything OK?” the atom asks his friend. “Well, I think I might have lost an electron,” responds the other atom. “Are you sure?” asks the first. “I’m positive!” replies his friend.

Everyone thinks Kim Jong Un wants to build an atom bomb…
…when he just wants to build a new clear-bomb.

Explaining what is hydroxyl acid to an atom…
Hydrogen ion: OH^- I get it, it is water!

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