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Atom jokes ⚛ in 2025

Never trust an atom
– They make up stuff.

Two atoms were walking down the street when they collided.
The first one exclaims, “I’ve lost an electron!”

The second one asks, “Are you sure?”

The first one replies, “I’m positive!”

My friend asked me if she could use my periodic table
I said “sorry, I left it atom”

I like to hear chemistry puns, periodically.

One suddenly says: Oh no, I think I lost an electron!
The other one asks: Are you sure man?
He says: Yes, I’m positive.

Never trust an atom
– when the pressure is on, they split.

What do you call an organic compound in which a hydroxyl is bound to a carbon atom of an alkyl??
See? Sometimes alcohol IS the answer!!

Two atoms
– One atom says to the other, “you’re a weird dude. You know that?” The other atom responds “hey man, we all have some quarks.”

What do we call a group of 12 atoms?
– Dozen matter.

Two atoms were crossing the road…
…when the first atom screams “Ahhhhh! I lost an electron”.
The second atom asks “Are you sure?”
to which the first atom replied “Yes, I’m positive.”

Who do you call to fix an atom?
– A quantum mechanic

Two atoms walking down the street
Two atoms walking down the street happen to collide into one another. The first one exclaims, “Oh no! I think I’ve lost an electron!”
“Are you sure?” says the second atom.
“Yes, I’m positive!”

Two atoms are sitting at a bar…
…and the first atom is looking pretty glum.

“What’s wrong?” asks the second atom.

“I thnk I lost an electron.”

“My God!” said the second atom. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” said the first. “I’m positive.”

You would think that atoms bonding would mean they’re being friendly to eachother
But instead they steal each others electrons.

How ionic.

What did one atom say to the other?
“I lost an electron…”

The other atom asks “Are you sure?”

First atom replies, “I’m positive!”

There once was a chemist named atom
– He made up everything…..

What did the scientist say when he found two atoms of helium?
– HeHe.

Two atoms bump into each other, and become stuck.
“Oh, no,” said the first atom. “We’re going to be stuck like this forever!”

“It’ll be okay. Try not to be so negative! Think positive for a second.”

The first atom thought real hard, and the two flew apart.

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