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Atom jokes ⚛ in 2024

Two atoms are sitting at a bar…
…and the first atom is looking pretty glum.

“What’s wrong?” asks the second atom.

“I thnk I lost an electron.”

“My God!” said the second atom. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” said the first. “I’m positive.”

You would think that atoms bonding would mean they’re being friendly to eachother
But instead they steal each others electrons.

How ionic.

What did one atom say to the other?
“I lost an electron…”

The other atom asks “Are you sure?”

First atom replies, “I’m positive!”

There once was a chemist named atom
– He made up everything…..

What did the scientist say when he found two atoms of helium?
– HeHe.

Two atoms bump into each other, and become stuck.
“Oh, no,” said the first atom. “We’re going to be stuck like this forever!”

“It’ll be okay. Try not to be so negative! Think positive for a second.”

The first atom thought real hard, and the two flew apart.

Two atoms are walking back home together…
One of the atom stumbles and falls

Atom: ouch, I think I just lost an electron.

Atom 2: are you sure?

Atom: I’m positive.

What did the helium atom say to the other helium atom
– He-He

How does an atom with bad grammar respond to an order?
– I on it.

What’s another name for the Periodic Table of elements?
– The atoms family.

A chemist walks into a bar…
He says to the bartender, “Tonight all drinks are on me!”

The bartender says to him, “you must’ve had a good day today, what happened?”

“I finally found a way to make a stable molecule from a barium atom, two sodium atoms, and a sulfur atom!” the chemist proudly replies.

“Wow,” says the bartender, “that’s BaNaNaS!”

Two atoms were walking down the street.
One of them said, “I lost an electron.” The other one said, “Are you sure?” and the first one said, “I’m positive!”

3 kids are in class Atom, Molecule and Matter. Atom turns to molecule and tells him a joke. Molecule laughs so hard and asks why don’t you tell Matter the joke.
Atom: he wouldn’t get it, he’s too dense.

An oxygen atom was looking forward to a threesome,
Instead the poor guy got ozoned.

What does a nuclear physicist say when going to the bathroom?
– Alright, I’m gonna go split an atom

Hydrogen atom walks into a bar and says to the barman:
Have you seen an electron? I’ve lost mine”

Barman:”You sure?”

H.A.: “I’m positive”

Yeah..sorry ’bout that.

What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
– OK boomer.

We learned about the orbitals of an atom today…
It was pretty Bohring.
.
.
.

I’ll let myself out.

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