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Atom jokes ⚛ in 2025

Did you know that atoms never touch each other. And since we’re made of atoms, we’ve never touched anything in our entire lives.
– So to answer your question officer, no I did not punch that kid.

What do you get when you mix an atom of cobalt, an atom of vanadium, and two atoms of iron?
– covfefe

How many electrons does a negatively charged oxygen atom have?
– Nion

I told a dark joke to an atom today, but it didn’t really find it funny.
– Turns out it was no laughing matter.

What did the oxygen atom say to the two hydrogen atoms?
– Man! This threesome is getting me wet!

An atom lost an electron
It should really keep an ion them

Even after repeated search attempts, the atom couldn’t find its lost electron…
Yet, on the brighter side, it remained positive.

Scientists record the sound of two helium atoms laughing.
– HeHe.

Did you hear about the atom that was caught stealing electrons?
He was arrested and charged.

…this is the stuff I come up with while procrastinating studying for finals.

What do you call a nitrogen atom having a 5-way orgy with 4 other hydrogen atoms?
– Ammoooaaanium

Two atoms sitting in a bar..
One says I lost an electron. The other asks are you sure ?

Yeah I’m positive

What is it called when the electrons of one atom are transferred to another?
– Ionestly don’t know the answer.

A helium atom walks into a bar

The bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gases here.”

The helium atom does not react.

We learned about the orbitals of an atom today…
It was pretty Bohring.
.
.
.

I’ll let myself out.

Two atoms go on a date…when suddenly, one of them drops an electron and gasps. The other atom asks…are you sure?
– I’m positive! Replies the other atom.

Joke my scinence teacher dropped on us
A lithium atom walked into a bar and said

“Hey I think I left some electrons in here last night, have you seen any?”

The bar tender replied, “No, are you sure you lost them?”

The lithium atom replied “Yes I’m positive…”

You’d think that when two atoms in a salt bond, they’re being kind by sharing electrons, but actually, one atom is stealing the electron from the other.
Isn’t it ionic?

A human losing weight is like an atom losing electrons
– Everything is positive after that.

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