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Atom jokes ⚛ in 2024

Two atoms walked out of a bar.
One turned to the other one and said, “we’ve got to go back in there, I left an electron” The other one asked, “Are you sure?” He replied, “Yes, I’m positive”

Why can you never trust an atom?
– They make up literally everything.

A professor makes a bet with a student.

Every question the professor asks that the student can’t answer the student will owe him $1, every question the student asks that the professor can’t answer he owes the student $100.
Professor: What element has the atomic number 45?

The student having no idea hands the professor $1.

Student: What animal walks on 2 legs, sleeps on 4 legs, and runs on 3 legs?

The professor is stumped, so he gives the student $100.

Professor: Ok you win, but on earth was the answer to your question?

The student gives the professor $1 and goes home.

One atom says to another atom
“Dude! I lost all my valence electrons!”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive!”

Two atoms are walking down the street….
One of them shouts, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!”

The other inquires, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m positive!”

Atomic Particles
I just lost an atomic particle. I’m positive.

What do you call a ring of iron atoms?
– A ferrous wheel.

Two atoms were hanging out…
…and one says to the other, “Oh no! I think I’ve lost an electron!”

The other says, “Are you sure?”

The first says, “Yes, I’m positive!”

Two atoms are in a bar. One says, “I think I lost an electron.”
The other says, “Are you sure?” to which the other replies, “I’m positive.”

An atom loses an electron, another atom asks ‘You sure?’
– I’m positive.

Why are atoms weird?
– They have their quarks

How did one gold atom greet the other gold atom?
– ‘ey you.

What did the chemist say to his gf when they broke up?
– If you were an atom you would have 67 protons

An Atom walks into a drinking establishment
He sits down and orders a drink and then all of a sudden he starts crying. The bartender walks over and asks : “is everything okay?”
To which the Atom replies: ” I lost an electron..”. “Are you sure you lost it?” the bartender asks concerned. To which the atom replies:” I am fairly positive “

I was ridiculed by some miscreants at the Halloween party for my Helium atom costume,..
… but I was too noble to react to such petty volatile elements.

Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.

39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom.
– Scientists still can’t determine how much is needed for your mother though.

If I had an atom bomb for every gender…
I’d force Japan to surrender

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