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Atom jokes ⚛ in 2025

what do you get if you eat a bomb?
– Atomic ache.

What did the atom say when it kept losing electrons?
– I really need to keep an ion them.

An atom walks into a bar…
and orders a drink. The barman makes the drink and hands it over. The atom just sits there and sighs. “Why so down?” the barman asks. “Iv’e lost an electron.” the atom answers. “Are you sure?” the barman asks. “I’m positive.”

Why are atoms selfish?
– Because they’re all that matter!

…Courtesy of my witty wife after my 11 year old asked the “Why should you never trust atoms? – because they make up everything” joke.

I thought surely the joke already existed, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. Doesn’t entirely work, but it got a laugh out of me!

What kind of fish is made up of only two sodium atoms?
– 2Na.

Scientists Have Captured the Sound One Atom Makes and what did the atom say?
– “Does it really matter we make up everything.”

Two atoms walk into a bar.
The first one turns to the other and says “I think I’ve lost an electron!”

The second one goes “Are you sure?”

To which the first one replies “I’m positive.”

The Atom and the Cation
The Atom says to the Cation, “who’s in charge around here?”

Cation: “I am!”

Atom: “Are you sure?”

Cation: “I’m positive!”

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

What did the scientist say when he found two atoms of helium?
– HeHe.

Two atoms bump into each other, and become stuck.
“Oh, no,” said the first atom. “We’re going to be stuck like this forever!”

“It’ll be okay. Try not to be so negative! Think positive for a second.”

The first atom thought real hard, and the two flew apart.

Two atoms are walking back home together…
One of the atom stumbles and falls

Atom: ouch, I think I just lost an electron.

Atom 2: are you sure?

Atom: I’m positive.

What did the helium atom say to the other helium atom
– He-He

How does an atom with bad grammar respond to an order?
– I on it.

What’s another name for the Periodic Table of elements?
– The atoms family.

A chemist walks into a bar…
He says to the bartender, “Tonight all drinks are on me!”

The bartender says to him, “you must’ve had a good day today, what happened?”

“I finally found a way to make a stable molecule from a barium atom, two sodium atoms, and a sulfur atom!” the chemist proudly replies.

“Wow,” says the bartender, “that’s BaNaNaS!”

Two atoms were walking down the street.
One of them said, “I lost an electron.” The other one said, “Are you sure?” and the first one said, “I’m positive!”

3 kids are in class Atom, Molecule and Matter. Atom turns to molecule and tells him a joke. Molecule laughs so hard and asks why don’t you tell Matter the joke.
Atom: he wouldn’t get it, he’s too dense.

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