Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Atom jokes ⚛ in 2025

what do you get if you eat a bomb?
– Atomic ache.

What did the atom say when it kept losing electrons?
– I really need to keep an ion them.

An atom walks into a bar…
and orders a drink. The barman makes the drink and hands it over. The atom just sits there and sighs. “Why so down?” the barman asks. “Iv’e lost an electron.” the atom answers. “Are you sure?” the barman asks. “I’m positive.”

Why are atoms selfish?
– Because they’re all that matter!

…Courtesy of my witty wife after my 11 year old asked the “Why should you never trust atoms? – because they make up everything” joke.

I thought surely the joke already existed, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. Doesn’t entirely work, but it got a laugh out of me!

What kind of fish is made up of only two sodium atoms?
– 2Na.

Scientists Have Captured the Sound One Atom Makes and what did the atom say?
– “Does it really matter we make up everything.”

Two atoms walk into a bar.
The first one turns to the other and says “I think I’ve lost an electron!”

The second one goes “Are you sure?”

To which the first one replies “I’m positive.”

The Atom and the Cation
The Atom says to the Cation, “who’s in charge around here?”

Cation: “I am!”

Atom: “Are you sure?”

Cation: “I’m positive!”

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

An oxygen atom was looking forward to a threesome,
Instead the poor guy got ozoned.

What does a nuclear physicist say when going to the bathroom?
– Alright, I’m gonna go split an atom

Hydrogen atom walks into a bar and says to the barman:
Have you seen an electron? I’ve lost mine”

Barman:”You sure?”

H.A.: “I’m positive”

Yeah..sorry ’bout that.

What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
– OK boomer.

We learned about the orbitals of an atom today…
It was pretty Bohring.
.
.
.

I’ll let myself out.

Did you know that atoms never touch each other. And since we’re made of atoms, we’ve never touched anything in our entire lives.
– So to answer your question officer, no I did not punch that kid.

What do you get when you mix an atom of cobalt, an atom of vanadium, and two atoms of iron?
– covfefe

How many electrons does a negatively charged oxygen atom have?
– Nion

I told a dark joke to an atom today, but it didn’t really find it funny.
– Turns out it was no laughing matter.

Follow us on Facebook