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Atom jokes ⚛ in 2025

what do you get if you eat a bomb?
– Atomic ache.

What did the atom say when it kept losing electrons?
– I really need to keep an ion them.

Why are atoms selfish?
– Because they’re all that matter!

…Courtesy of my witty wife after my 11 year old asked the “Why should you never trust atoms? – because they make up everything” joke.

I thought surely the joke already existed, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. Doesn’t entirely work, but it got a laugh out of me!

An atom walks into a bar…
and orders a drink. The barman makes the drink and hands it over. The atom just sits there and sighs. “Why so down?” the barman asks. “Iv’e lost an electron.” the atom answers. “Are you sure?” the barman asks. “I’m positive.”

Scientists Have Captured the Sound One Atom Makes and what did the atom say?
– “Does it really matter we make up everything.”

Two atoms walk into a bar.
The first one turns to the other and says “I think I’ve lost an electron!”

The second one goes “Are you sure?”

To which the first one replies “I’m positive.”

The Atom and the Cation
The Atom says to the Cation, “who’s in charge around here?”

Cation: “I am!”

Atom: “Are you sure?”

Cation: “I’m positive!”

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

What kind of fish is made up of only two sodium atoms?
– 2Na.

The professor sighs and says, “No need to make mountains out of mol hills.”

One atom asks a hipster atom, “Hey, did you lose an electron?”
The hipster atom replies, “No, I’m just being ionic.”

If you laid every atom in the sun end to end, it would be roughly 3.0818632e+23 times the width of the universe, or roughly 1.1701458e+43 lightyears.
That’s almost as wide as your mother.

Atoms are catholic.
They have mass

An atom says to another, I think I just lost an electron .
The other says, Are you sure? .
– The first replies, Yes, I’m positive .

Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82.
– I’m easily lead.

I went to an atom party last night.
– It was crazy, but in the middle of the party a couple splitted up and the party exploded!

All the atoms go to the bar Quantum Accelerator
– Why? Because it’s a smashing time

What do you call an atom with a negative charge?
– An ion

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