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Anti jokes in 2025

The best anti jokes?
– Here are some of my favorite ones: One, uno, ein, un.

Where was the Constitution signed?
– At the bottom.

What did one ant say to the other ant?
– Nothing. Ants communicate by pheromones, not speech.

Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a ‘V’ formation, one line is always longer than the other? Do you know why that is?
– Because there are more geese in that line.

When is a dad officially a dad?
– When his jokes no longer get laughs.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
– “I lost my tractor.”

Two muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, “Dang, it’s hot in here.”
– The other replies, “Yeah, probably like 350 degrees.”

What did he give her on Valentine’s Day?
– Something red and lots of lies.

A horse walks into a bar.
– Several people get up and leave as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

What’s white and annoying at breakfast?
– An avalanche.

What do you call a talking turtle?
– Fictional.

How do you get someone to stop swinging on the tire swing?
– Snip the rope.

Guess what I saw today?
– Everything I looked at.

How long does it take you to count to 100?
– I don’t care.

Why did the dinosaur say “hello” to the little girl?
– He was being polite.

Do you know why I look like I can’t hear you?
– Because I can’t, my headphones are on.

Why did the therapist wipe away the T. rex’s tears?
– He couldn’t reach his own face.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
– Chickens had not evolved yet.

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