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Anti jokes in 2025

Do you want to know what always makes me smile?
– Face muscles.

Why are friends a lot like snow?
– If you pee on them, they disappear.

What came first, the chicken or the egg?
– Dinosaurs.

A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you.”
– The grasshopper replies, “What? You have a drink called Steve?”

Why did Jordan stay home from the party?
– He wasn’t invited.

Knock, knock.
– Come in!

You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends…
– But you can’t rob a bank. That’s a felony.

What does one French Guy say to another French Guy?
– “My name is also Guy.”

I was shocked when I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof.

Why did the mailman die
– Because everybody dies.

I still remember the last words my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket.
– He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

This is due to their powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house can’t jump.

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
– A horrible boating accident.

You know what they say?
– Words.

What do you call a pretty woman on the arm of a musician?
– A tattoo.

Want to know something that will make you smile?
– Your facial muscles.

What is red and extremely bad for your teeth?
– A flying brick.

What did one woman say to the other woman next to the coffee machine?
– “Coffee looks good.”

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