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Anti jokes in 2025

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
– “I lost my tractor.”

How do you get someone to stop swinging on the tire swing?
– Snip the rope.

What did he give her on Valentine’s Day?
– Something red and lots of lies.

A horse walks into a bar.
– Several people get up and leave as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

What’s white and annoying at breakfast?
– An avalanche.

What do you call a talking turtle?
– Fictional.

Do you know why I look like I can’t hear you?
– Because I can’t, my headphones are on.

Guess what I saw today?
– Everything I looked at.

How long does it take you to count to 100?
– I don’t care.

Why did the dinosaur say “hello” to the little girl?
– He was being polite.

What did one Frenchman say to the other Frenchman?
– I don’t know; I don’t speak French.

How is a bar of soap the same as your dreams?
– They’re both amazing at slipping away.

Why did the therapist wipe away the T. rex’s tears?
– He couldn’t reach his own face.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
– Chickens had not evolved yet.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
– You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour of the morning.

What did the man say when he lost his truck?
– “Where’s my truck?”

Why did the kid in the movie theater get yelled at?
– He was talking.

Learn sign language.
– It’s very handy.

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