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Anniversary jokes 💝🥂 in 2024

I had to return the glasses, which were an anniversary present for my wife, as she still couldn’t see things my way!

Why did the old man gift a clock to his wife on their 50th wedding anniversary?
– There is no present like time.

I asked my wife to cook me a Japanese meal for our anniversary
– Sushi did.

Wife renewed me for another season.

Why did the optometrist couple decide to marry each other?
– Because their relationship turned out to be an eye-opener for them!

Marriage is like going to a restaurant.
– You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

A friend of mine was explaining to me that she wasn’t sure what to get her boyfriend for their upcoming anniversary but that he was dropping hints about matador equipment and communist paraphernalia. I told her those are big red flags.

Why was the robot couple’s marriage ceremony scheduled to happen in the fall?
– Because they were autumn-mated.

My wife says she wanted a BBC for our anniversary….
– But she looked so disappointed when I handed her a Big Box of Cookies

Today is my parents 44th wedding anniversary! And all I can think it is…
– Why did they get married so many times?

Why did the man change his mind about gifting diamonds to his wife and gifted nothing instead?
– Because his wife said nothing will please me more than diamonds.

For their 50th anniversary, my parents went on vacation, but unfortunately, my Dad got really ill.
– When they got back, I asked, “Dad, what made you so sick in Hawaii?”
– He said, “Poi, son.”

I actually just realized that cake day is your reddit anniversary and not your birthday because of a notification I just got
– It’s me. I’m the joke

What do you call people who get married online?
– Newly-web couple.

I’ve been trying to come up with a somewhat sensitive joke for the anniversary of Kobe Bryant’s death
– But I don’t think it would land properly..

Wife: How time passes, it’s our 30th anniversary tomorrow, and it still feels like we got married yesterday.
– Husband: Only the prisoner feels the slow passage of time, not the jailer.

After telling my wife that our kids were spoiled,
– she said, “Nowadays, all the kids smell that way.”

My family just celebrated the 200th anniversary of owning a buffalo farm.
– That’s right, it’s our bison-tennial.

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