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Anniversary jokes 💝🥂 in 2024

This year was the 18th anniversary of 9/11.
– Now 9/11 is finally old enough to die for its country.

This year is my wool anniversary so I got my wife dryer balls.
– After seeing the gift she told me she got me blue ones

For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a small picture of me inside a pistachio.
– But that’s just me in a nutshell.

Before I start ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a few moments of silence in memory of the 3,000 prawns, 200 chickens, countless carnations, delphiniums, lilies and roses who selflessly gave their lives to make this wedding celebration possible.

How did the spiny mammal couple celebrate their anniversary?
– They gave each other a hedge-hug.

My girlfriend is in a band, and for our anniversary I bought her a new drum kit.
– It was a cymbal of my love.

I took my wife skating for our anniversary today
– Which sounds a lot better than I lost control of the car on the ice and she died

A Japanese man respectfully asked his wife to cook a special anniversary meal according to their tradition, and sushi did!

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
– They’re hard to get started, emit foul odors and don’t work half the time!

My wife told me that she wanted to see a huge ring on our anniversary…
– So I got her tickets to Wrestlemania.

What advice does a married man always give?
– Do not give your wife a ring every time you need to call her—just text.

Wife: Honey, what will you give me for our 25th anniversary? Husband: A trip to Paris. Wife: Wow! That’s wonderful! How about for our 50th?
– I’ll pick you back up.

The physicist gifted his wife joule-ry on their anniversary.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one.
– The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

It was mine and my wife’s 25th wedding anniversary the other day and she said to me “Did you know i wore this on our first date and it still fits me”…
– I said “Its a scarf”…

I asked my wife what gift she wanted for our anniversary.
– She said, anything. So, I got her a refrigerator because I wanted to see her face light up.

Why couldn’t the vampire see his wife on the day of the wedding?
– Because an open casket ceremony is much costlier.

Wife: “You always get the worst anniversary gifts.”
– Husband: “You didn’t say over. Over.”

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