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Anniversary jokes 💝🥂 in 2025

Marriage is like going to a restaurant.
– You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

A friend of mine was explaining to me that she wasn’t sure what to get her boyfriend for their upcoming anniversary but that he was dropping hints about matador equipment and communist paraphernalia. I told her those are big red flags.

Why did the man change his mind about gifting diamonds to his wife and gifted nothing instead?
– Because his wife said nothing will please me more than diamonds.

My wife says she wanted a BBC for our anniversary….
– But she looked so disappointed when I handed her a Big Box of Cookies

Today is my parents 44th wedding anniversary! And all I can think it is…
– Why did they get married so many times?

What do you call people who get married online?
– Newly-web couple.

For their 50th anniversary, my parents went on vacation, but unfortunately, my Dad got really ill.
– When they got back, I asked, “Dad, what made you so sick in Hawaii?”
– He said, “Poi, son.”

I actually just realized that cake day is your reddit anniversary and not your birthday because of a notification I just got
– It’s me. I’m the joke

After telling my wife that our kids were spoiled,
– she said, “Nowadays, all the kids smell that way.”

I’ve been trying to come up with a somewhat sensitive joke for the anniversary of Kobe Bryant’s death
– But I don’t think it would land properly..

Wife: How time passes, it’s our 30th anniversary tomorrow, and it still feels like we got married yesterday.
– Husband: Only the prisoner feels the slow passage of time, not the jailer.

Heard about the husband who gifted salt and pepper to his chef wife on their 25th wedding anniversary?
– She is a seasoned professional now.

My family just celebrated the 200th anniversary of owning a buffalo farm.
– That’s right, it’s our bison-tennial.

I must inform you that I’ve had rather a heavy night and I’m still feeling a little fragile. Therefore please spare a thought and try not to clap and yelp too loudly during my speech, however tempting that might be. You’d think I’d know better than to be out boozing in the early hours just before a big wedding, but I don’t like to see the groom drinking alone.

What did Marie Antoinette say on my Reddit anniversary?
– Let them eat cake day!

Where did the king of hearts marry the queen of hearts?
– On a cruise deck.

Why am I excited for my wedding anniversary trip?
– It’s going to be a trip of a wifetime.

Marriage is full of surprises but it’s mostly just asking each other,
– “Do you have to do that right now?”

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