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Animal jokes 🐢 in 2025

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
-Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.

What do fish take to stay healthy?
-Vitamin sea.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
-One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

Where did the music teacher leave his keys?
-In the piano!

How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
-“Pleased to eat you.”

Where do cows go on holiday?
-Moo Zealand.

Why are fish so good at watching their weight?
-Because they have lots of scales.

What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
-Put it on my bill.

What do ducks watch on TV?
-Duck-umentaries.

How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
-Plug its nose.

Why do cows wear bells?
-Because their horns don’t work.

What do you call an arctic cow?
-An eski-moo.

What do you give a dog with a fever?
-Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!

How does a dog stop a video?
-He presses the paws button.

The early bird might get the worm…
-But the second mouse gets the cheese.

What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies?
-“Should we walk home or take a dog?”

Why are cats bad storytellers?
-Because they only have one tale.

What is a cat’s favourite color?
-Purr-ple.

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