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Alligator jokes 🐊 in 2025

What do you call an alligator in a vest
– An investigator

According to latest news the current Governor of Florida used to own and run his own alligator farm. So not only does he have experience with horrible scaly reptiles
– he’s also worked with alligators too.

What do you call a reptile that likes to go bowling?
– An Alley-gator.

What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
– A navigator.

Why don’t alligators like fast food?
– Because it is difficult to catch.

Angry alligator
– You ever wonder why an alligator is so angry,

All them teeth with but no toothbrush.

Did you hear about the Ethiopian man that fell into an alligator pit?
– They say he ate 7 alligators before they could drag him out of there.

What do you call a big, green reptile who works on a farm?
– An irri-gator.

Alligators can live up to 50 years, that is why there is a high chance that they will see you later.

You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.

A man walks into a bar with his pet alligator on a leash… (NSFW)
– As he walks in, all the patrons of the bar gasp.

The man then says, “Relax. He is very trained. Here; watch!”
He plops his 5 foot long pet alligator on the bar counter and says, “Open!”
The alligator’s mouth opens wide, then the man unzips his pants and proceeds to stick his d*ck in it.

He holds this position for 5 minutes until he zips back up and tells the alligator, “Close.” And it does.

The man then asks if there is anyone else in the bar who wants to try.

An old man from a corner of the bar shouts, “Boy, I’ll sure try but I don’t know if I can keep my mouth open that long!”

I got ass-raped by an HIV-positive alligator the other day
– Now I have gatoraids

How many arms does a alligator have?
– It depends on how many people it’s caught.

A stingray, a crocodile and a poisonous snake walk into a bar.
– No joke here, it is just a normal day in Australia.

A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts “Hey are you a caiman?”
– “I’m alright, thanks kid”, he replies.

Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet
But most of them only have 4!
How can you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

One of them sees you later, the other sees you after a while!

What is an alligator’s favorite drink?
– Gator-ade.

What do you call an alligator who is always wearing a vest?
– An investigator.

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