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Alligator jokes 🐊 in 2025

I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
– It was an alligrator.

The weather’s getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.

Earlier today I read that an alligator can grow up to 15 feet…
…but I’ve never seen one with more than 4.

Why don’t alligators like fast food?
– It’s too hard to catch.

Why should you never ever play texas hold’em with a crocodile?
– You will literally lose every hand.

A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator
He says to the bartender, “Do you serve lawyers here?”

Bartender says, “Yep, sure do!”

The guy says, “Great! I’ll have a scotch neat, and my alligator will have a lawyer.”

What do you call a couple of alligators with problems in the bedroom?
– A reptile dysfunction.

What do alligators order at coffee shoppes?
– Jaw-va

What do you call a gator that works at the courthouse?
– A litigator.

Let’s play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.

The alligator was low on potassium
– So I ran to the gatorade

What do you give an injured alligator?
– Gatorade

Which side of an alligator is the greenest?
– The outside.

Why do crocodiles from Egypt who are alcoholics never recover?
– They get stuck in de Niel.

How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
– It depends on whether you’ll see them later or in a while.

Who is the author of the book “Escaping Alligators?”
– Ron A. Way.

What kind of reptile bites people from behind?
– A tail-gator.

What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
– A hallaligator.

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