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Alligator jokes 🐊 in 2025

What do you call it when your alligator stops doing what it’s told?
– A reptile dysfunction.

One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond
– One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”

The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.” Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Some old men can still think fast.

How does an alligator smell?
– With it’s nose!

What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
– A fumigator.

If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile.

What do you call a mix between a pig and an alligator…
– A baconator

What are the two biggest differences between an alligator and a crocodile?
– The spelling and pronunciation.

What’s better than a crocodile?
– An alli-greator

Did you hear about the gator that became a muslim?
– He was an Allah Gator.

If an alligator lives in a river and thinks he’s a crocodile
– There’s a good chance he’s in da-nile!

What do you call an alligator that takes a rest
– A lying crocodile

What do alligators drink before playing baseball?
– Gator-ade.

What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
– A crocodile.

Did you know Alligators can grow up to 15 feet?
– Most only have 4

An Ethiopian fell into an alligator pen at San Diego zoo
– He ate 5 before they could get him out.

Why shouldn’t you play cards with a alligator?
– You’ll lose each hand.

Alligators can grow up to fifteen feet.
– They usually just grow 4 of them though.

Some people like to play croc-quet.

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