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Alligator jokes 🐊 in 2025

An alligator decided to have unprotected sex…
– Now he has Gatorades.

What type of floor do alligators install in their bathrooms?
– Rep-tiles.

Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
– He had a reptile dysfunction.

I was going to have alligator for dinner,
– But then I realised I only had a croc pot!

A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator, puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons.
“If I open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside, leave them there for five minutes, then remove my unit unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?”

The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps.

After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and taps the alligator’s head. The alligator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitals, without a scratch on them, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered.

“Anyone else have the guts to try?” The man dares the crowd.

After a few seconds, a drunk says, “I’ll do it, just don’t tap my head with a bottle.”

What’s the difference between a dog and a alligator?
– The dog’s bark is worst than his bite…

Why are alligators long and green?
– Because if they were short and green, they would be leprachuans.

What has 100 eyes and 2 teeth ?
– A tour bus full of old people.

Alligator Boots
– One day A Ranger decided he wanted to get himself some gator boots, and being a Ranger he wasn’t about to go to a store for some. Instead he goes out to the bayou to find a gator to make himself some shoes.
So he comes across a local man and asks him where he can find a gator. The man gives him directions and tells him to keep an eye out for some marines who had gone in a few days ago and should’ve been back by now.

So the Ranger goes into the bayou and sure enough he sees two Marines standing waist high in the water. He looks over and sees the shore littered with dead gators.
Then a gator swims up and lunges at the marines, who jump on it and go wild, killing it. After it’s dead they pull it to the shore and flip it over, checking it’s feet. “Darn it this one ain’t got no boots either

What do you get when you cross Miley Cyrus with an alligator?
– A caiman like a wrecking ball.

Did you hear about the alligator who became president?
– He was a great dele-gator.

What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
– Gatorade.

A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.

What does an alligator drink when hurt?
– Gator-Aid.

What do you call an alligator with a map?
– A Navigator.

What’s the similarity between a alligator and an old computer?
– They both have bytes!

Did you hear about the group of crocodiles that performed parody songs?
– They were a pun croc band.

What do you call an alligator in a vest
– An investigator

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