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Airplane jokes ✈️ in 2025

Don’t fly off the handle!

What’s the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?
– An optimist designed the airplane; a pessimist put in the seatbelts.

I really wanted to build an airplane
– But the idea never really took off.

Did you hear about the airplane that crashed into a cemetery?
– They recovered 12,000 bodies

What sound does an airplane make when it bounces off the ground?
– Boeing.

Why did the teenage airplane get sent to his room?
– For bad altitude.

Everyone knows two wrongs don’t make a right, but what do two Wrights make?
– An airplane.

I have a joke on airplanes…
– But I can’t seem to land it

I just picked up the Germanwings iPhone app…
– When I switched on airplane mode, it locked me out of the phone and then crashed.

Will invisible airplanes ever happen?
– I don’t think they will take off.

You know why blind people don’t jump out of airplanes?
– It scares the dog.

A felt seasick on the airplane today
– And it sure didnt help that there are tons of people screaming for lifejackets and rafts.

Did you hear about the cow who gambled on an airplane?
– The steaks couldn’t have been higher.

Flying for Beginners,
– a book by Landon Safely.

What happens if you wear a watch on a plane?
– Time flies!

Airplane Business
– Hey man, how’s your flight company going?
You know, I think it’s really taken off.

A Muslim enters a building
– Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.

Why is development in airline engineering so slow?
– No one wants to make a groundbreaking design.

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