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Air force jokes ✈ in 2025

A military function is being held where all officers of the Army, Navy and the Air force are present.
The Army and Navy officers were describing the Air force as the Cinderella of the military.
– To this, the Air force officer replied” I don’t know a lot about Cinderella except the fact that she had two ugly sisters”.

If Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, Bill Barr, Stephen Miller, and Jared Kushner we’re on Air Force One together and the plane were to suddenly crash, who would survive?
– The United States of America.

Where do rabbits learn to fly?
– The hare force.

I met an old Air Force guy. He said the first time he was gonna jump out of a plane he was scared. He said the Captain told him to jump, or he’d stick his d**k where the “sun don’t shine”. I go, “Did you jump?” He said, “A little.”

When does an Air Force officer need a hair cut?
– Never, they get it before its needed!

What do pilots and air traffic controllers have in common?
– If pilots screw up, they die. If air traffic controllers screw up, pilots also die.

What`s the difference between a Doctors Without Borders hospital and ISIS?
– How would I know, I`m just a US Air Force Operator.

Why did chicken cross the ocean?
– To get to the other tide.

The entire Dutch air force was disabled this week.
– The pilot was sick.

How do you know if there’s an Air Force pilot at your party?
– Oh, don’t worry. He’ll tell you as soon as he walks in.

Emergency management: “Always remember that if one engine fails on a dual-engine plane, you’ll still have enough power to safely reach the scene of the crash.”

My grandfather was in the air force in the Second World War, surviving over 30 combat missions in hostile airspace.
– He was by far the worst pilot of the entire Kamikaze corps.

A basic trainee realizes he made an awful mistake and goes to the DI.
– “You can’t keep me here because one of my legs is shorter than the other. I’ll be useless.” The DI smirks, “No one is useless. See that guy down the hill pumping water into a bucket? When the trainee nods, the DI continues, ,”Run down there and tell him when the bucket is full. He’s blind.”

Why can’t you tell when a pterodactyl is using the bathroom ?
– Because the “p” is silent.

A German airman on the air forces during WW2
– If you see a white plane, it’s American; if it’s black it’s RAF (Royal Air Force). If you see no planes at all, that’s the Luftwaffe.

An Airman and a Marine walk into the restroom at the same time.
The Airman finishes up and heads out. When the Marine is finished, he washes his hands and then catches up to the Airman. “Hey, buddy. In the Marines, they teach us to wash our hands after we take a leak.”
– The airman responds, “In the Air Force, they teach us not to pee on our hands.”

It’s 1955 at a SAC B-36 base and an F-86 pilot is requesting landing instructions.
– He is low on fuel and asks for priority. The tower tells him he is second in line behind a B-36 with an engine out. The Jet pilot’s response, “Ahh, the dreaded nine engine landing.”

What do you call a deer that’s enlisted in the Air Force?
– A bombar*deer*.

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