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Accounting Jokes 📒 in 2025

Why don’t accountants read novels?
-Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

How was copper wire invented?
-2 accountants were arguing over a penny.

What would an accountant want for a superpower?
– Telepathy with an excel spreadsheet.

What do you call an accountant who says he’s posted a one-sided journal?
-A liar!! Under Sarbox rules it just can’t happen! Can it??!!

What does CPA stand for?
– Can’t Pass Again.

Why don’t skunks have to pay taxes?
-Because they only have one scent.

It’s 4:04.
-Do you know where your auditor is?

If an accountant’s wife cannot sleep, what does she say?
-“Darling, could you tell me about your work.”

Accounting for Dummies. What’s the big deal?
-Cr. Cash Dr. Dummies. Simple.

An accountancy student asks a partner to explain ethics in accountancy.
-The partner thinks for a moment and relates the following.Mr Jones, one of our clients, came to see me last week and paid me his bill of £1,000 in cash. As he left I counted the notes and they came to £1,100.
The student said. ‘ I see. The ethics question is do I tell the client?’
‘Wrong answer!’
The question is do I tell my partner’

How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?
-Net Present Value.

Did you hear about the constipated CFO?
– He couldn’t budget with his calculator so he had to work it out with a pencil and paper.

How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?
– Net Present Value.

How do you know when an accountant’s having a mid-life crisis?
-He gets a faster calculator.

What is the definition of “accountant”?
– Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.

Why was the accountant in rehab?
– Solvency abuse.

Accountants don’t die,
-they get derecognized

What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
-The accountant knows he’s boring.

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