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Accounting Jokes 📒 in 2025

What’s the difference between death and taxes?
– Congress doesn’t meet every year to make death worse.

Why do economists exist?
-So accountants have someone to laugh at.

Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical?
-They have strong internal controls.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Want to hear an accountant joke?” The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I’m 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I’m an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6’2″ tall, 225 pounds, and he’s an accountant. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?
-The first guy says, “No, I don’t want to have to explain it two times.”

How can you tell if an accountant is extroverted?
– He looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.

Be audit
-you can be.

What is the definition of an insolvency practitioner?
– Someone who arrives after the battle,bayonets all the wounded, pawns their possessions and charges their time to the relatives.

What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
– Lost.

What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.?
-Lazy.

What do you call a group financial controller who’s lost his job?
-Bob.

Ever wonder why they call it a Form 1040?
– For every $50 you earn, you get $10, they get $40.

There are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business:
– 1. Don’t tell them everything you know. 2. [Redacted]

Budget:
-An orderly system for living beyond your means.

What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
-Invite an accountant.

There are 3 types of accountants.
-Those who can count and those who can’t.

How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
-Tie them to a chair and mess up their excel formulas.

Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
They find bookkeeping too exciting.

An economist is someone who didn’t have enough personality
-to become an accountant.

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