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Accounting Jokes 📒 in 2025

Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
They find bookkeeping too exciting.

An economist is someone who didn’t have enough personality
-to become an accountant.

The best things in life are free —
– plus tax, of course.

What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?
– It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait – 13 seconds, no wait – 14 seconds, no wait……

Why don’t old accountants die?
-They just lose their balance!

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?
– Depreciation.

What is the definition of a good tax accountant?
-Someone who has a loophole named after him.

What’s grey has 6 legs, 2 arms and is twenty feet tall?
– An accountant riding an elephant.

Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical?
-They have strong internal controls.

Did you hear about the cannibal CPA?
– She charges an arm and a leg.

Why did the auditor get run over crossing the road?
– Auditors never actually do the risk assessment well until after the accident happens.

Why did the auditor cross the road?
– Because he looked in the file and that’s what they did last year.

Why was the accountant so excited that he completed a jigsaw puzzle in only 59 weeks?
-Because on the box it said 8-12 Years.

What’s an actuary?
– An accountant without the sense of humour.

What did the accountant say when he got a blank check?
-My deductions have at last caught up with the salary.

A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had 6 months to live.
-“Oh my God!” said the woman. “What shall I do?”
“Marry an accountant,” suggested the doctor.
“Why?” asked the woman. “Will that make me live longer?”
“No,” replied the doctor. “But it will SEEM longer.”

Have you heard the joke about the interesting accountant?
-No. Me neither.

Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two’s hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, “What is this?”
-to which accountant number one replies, “it’s that $50 I owe you.”

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