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Accounting Jokes 📒 in 2025

What’s an accountant’s favourite book?
– 50 Shades of Grey.

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How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft?
-When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.

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America is the land of opportunity
-Everybody can become a taxpayer!

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What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?
-Depreciation.

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Where do homeless accountants live?
– In a tax shelter.

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An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.” “Have you tried counting sheep?”
-That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”

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What does CPA stand for?
– Can’t Pass Again.

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What’s grey and not there?
-An accountant on vacation.

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How does an accountant trash their hotel room?
-By refusing to fill in the Guest Comment Card.

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For every tax problem there is a solution that is straightforward
-uncomplicated, and wrong.

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What music is played at a financial accountant’s funeral?
-The Last Post.

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What’s the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do?
-Go into town and gang-audit someone.

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What’s the difference between death and taxes?
– Congress doesn’t meet every year to make death worse.

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Why do economists exist?
-So accountants have someone to laugh at.

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Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical?
-They have strong internal controls.

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A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Want to hear an accountant joke?” The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I’m 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I’m an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6’2″ tall, 225 pounds, and he’s an accountant. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?
-The first guy says, “No, I don’t want to have to explain it two times.”

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How can you tell if an accountant is extroverted?
– He looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.

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Be audit
-you can be.

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