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4th Of July jokes ✨ in 2024

How come George Washington couldn’t sleep?
– Because he couldn’t lie.

Was the Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia?
– No, it was written in ink.

Good morning, classmates!
– I am America. I was born on July 4th, 1776.

Why did the duck utter the word “bang”?
– Because she was a firequacker.

Do you know why no one in America ever knocks?
– Because freedom rings.

Why was King George III scared?
– Because he was haunted by the spirit of ’76.

What did Polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?
– A fire-cracker

Ants also celebrate the 4th of July by gathering for a party near the pen.
– They call it in the pen dance party.

What does the firecracker usually eat?
– Pop-sicles.

Who loves singing the patriotic song that starts with, “Oh say, can you see?”
– An optometrist

What do you call it when dogs howl together in protest?
– The Boston Flea Party.

What was George Washington’s favorite tree?
– The infantry.

The food we ate on the 4th of July picnic was not that good.
– The barbecue was bad, but the sausages were the wurst.

Please doughnut touch my freedom.

After the Stamp Act was signed, what happened next?
– The Americans kicked the British.

What will you call an American drawing?
– A Yankee Doodle.

Why doesn’t fire get to enjoy a day off on the Fourth of July?
– Because fire works.

Two of my friends were arguing over the position of the flag-bearer in the 4th of July parade.
– Well, as they say, the whole thing turned out to be pretty pat-riotic.

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